Sunday, July 19, 2009

I am a daughter of a Heavenly Father who has given me the chance....

So Brandon and I went to the doctor on July 10 to find out that we were going to be having a baby!!! The due date was going to be on March 14, 2010 we were so excited we were going to start us a little family. We went to both of our families that Sunday and told them the great news I was only 4 1/2 weeks along but we couldn't wait to tell our families the great news.


Well this last Wednesday July 15 I went to the E.R. because my stomach started to hurt... I got a blood test done and than a ultrasound done not what i was expecting my first one to be like I was expecting to go in and listen to my baby's heartbeat not to see if there was a baby growing. It was a very hard night for me I went home emotionally drained I found out I was closer to 6 weeks along though that night. So I prayed for a miracle for the two days in between my next doctors appointment that I would still have a baby. On Friday July 17 just a week later after finding out we were expecting we got the call from the doctor telling us that we had a miscarriage.

I have been on a emotional roller coaster for these last two days. I burst into tears at the weirdest times. I was at church today and during the Sacrament rest hymn Each Life That Touches Ours For Good there is a line in the hymn which touched my heart this is what it is...



"When such a friend from us departs,
We hold forever in our hearts
A sweet and hallowed memory,
Bring us nearer, Lord, to thee."


I could not even get through singing this song because I started to cry. I just thought of how I need to use this experience as a way to get closer to our Father in Heaven and let Him help heal this broken heart I am feeling for loosing a baby. The five weeks of being a mom to a spirit was a tender moment and I will never forget it. "A sweet and hallowed memory" explains how I feel so much. Just a short time but I have a memory that I will never forget.


I never knew that just loosing a baby within the first of couple of weeks could be so hard. It is so weird how I have grown a bond with this baby. I just have been very grateful in knowing that I was married in the temple and that our little family has been sealed together forever. This is a hard trial that we got to go through but I know that this will only make us stronger.

Thursday, July 16, 2009

What my letters in my name mean!!

I am on facebook and this morning I see on my homepage play with your name and see what it means so I go to do it because I'm bored and have to be on the couch all day... The result I really did not enjoy what it came out to be so I'm going to leave the bold for the results but Change what I think it should say... the only one that I'm going to change change is the J because I don't like what the J stands for.

J - is very loving


E - has gorgeous eyes


S - makes people laugh


S - makes people laugh (makes people smile)


I - is really sweet & romantic


C - selfish (cares about everyone)


A - crazy (outgoing)


-


H - stick to one


E - has gorgeous eyes


A - crazy


P - popular with all types of people


S - makes people laugh


-


W - can be funny and dumb at times


A - crazy


I - is really sweet & romantic


T - a smile to die for


E - has gorgeous eyes

Monday, July 13, 2009

Moving!!!




So Brandon and I moved on July 1 to a bigger apartment on the same street in Provo. It was a lot of hard work but in the end we have decided it was well worth it. The new apartment our new home has two bedrooms, two bathrooms, a dishwasher, and the best part of it all a washer/dryer. The second room has come in handy we have a office/guest room. The kitchen is not as big as our last place but it gives us more counter space and cupboard





space which I love because I'm all about storage. Brandon and I also moving into the new place we went and bought a couch set for our living room. Our new place is starting to get decorated one step at a time last week I decorated somewhat of the kitchen. Last night Brandon and I decorated the living room. I think Brandon's favorite part of this apartment is that we are allowed to mount our 42 inch TV on the wall so we got to get rid of our cheap entertainment center Yay!! I'm going to miss our old apartment because that was our first home as a married couple and we decided it was time for a little bit bigger apartment right when I started getting really comfortable living there. But I still think the move was a very smart move more space and I get a washer/dryer I love it.